Note from Dezz: this is an example site, so nothing was dialled or sent. Want one like it? Call or text Ezra on 0480 344 478.

Fortnightly garden care from Bicton to Applecross.

From $68 a visit, verge included.

Same weekday every fortnight. I’m Tess. I don’t send anyone else.

Mondays to Thursdays. Which day I’m in your suburb

Ask Tess for a quote

Hands trimming a shrub with secateurs — Plate 1. Tip-pruning in Bicton.

Month by month in a Perth garden

Most garden calendars are written for Sydney or Melbourne. Perth’s sand and the winter switch-off shift everything, so this is the list I work from.

Sprinklers off from 1 June to 31 August, bores included.

October

Spring lawn feed, if it didn’t happen in September. Slow-release. Near the river I use one with no phosphorus: whatever washes through our sand ends up in the Swan.

Wetting agent on the lawn and the beds before the first 35-degree week. Perth sand goes water-repellent in summer. Skip it and the sprinklers just run off.

Check the retic. I run every station, clean the filters, swap any spray that’s watering your fence, and set the controller to your rostered days.

Prune the natives that have finished. Geraldton wax gets cut back by about a third (see Plate 3). Kangaroo paws wait until their flower stems go brown in summer.

The other eleven months

January

Water deeply and early on your rostered days. Roots follow the water down. Deep ones get through the first 40-degree day.

The mower goes up a notch so the grass shades its own roots. No hard pruning in a heatwave, since fresh cuts scorch.

February

Usually the hottest month. If a brown patch of lawn lifts like carpet, it’s grubs. Treat it that week.

Pots and anything planted since winter get hand-watered between roster days.

Mulch gets topped up where the birds have scratched it thin.

March

The nights cool off. Hedges get a light trim so they go into autumn tidy.

Dry patches in the lawn get wetting agent before the autumn feed.

April

Autumn lawn feed, the second of the year.

Doublegee seedlings come up after the first rain. I dig them out now, while the taproot is short.

Clumping natives like dianella and lomandra can be divided and replanted.

If you’d like anything planted in May, tell me now so I can order it in.

May

The best planting month. Natives and new hedges go in now so the winter rain settles them.

Leaves get raked off the lawn. Buffalo sulks under a wet layer of them.

Sprinklers run on your rostered days until 31 May.

June

The switch-off starts on the first. Hand watering is still fine for pots and anything new.

Beds get weeded while the soil is soft.

Late in the month the roses and deciduous fruit trees get their winter prune.

July

Not much grows. Most of my regulars drop to a monthly mow until September. The spare days go on pulling doublegees before the three-cornered seeds set.

August

The last month of the switch-off. Nobody’s using the retic, so it’s the month to fix it.

Lawn weeds get dug or spot-sprayed before spring growth hides them.

Spring retic checks book out fast, so I take bookings for early September now.

September

Sprinklers are back on from 1 September, on your rostered days.

First lawn feed once the soil warms up, usually late September. Most of mine end up in the first week of October.

Couch and kikuyu that feel spongy underfoot get scarified.

Grevilleas get a tip prune as they finish flowering.

November

Everything gets mulched before summer, about 75mm deep and kept clear of the stems.

The second hedge trim of the year.

Lawns grow fastest now. Weekly mows if you like it neat, fortnightly if you don’t mind it shaggy.

December

Deep watering on your rostered days, early in the morning.

Kangaroo paw flower stems get cut to the ground once they’ve browned off.

I’m off from 23 December to 6 January.

Outside the switch-off, sprinklers run on your two rostered days a week (scheme water or bore), once a day, before 9am or after 6pm.

Ask Tess about these jobs

Which day I’m in your suburb

I keep the round tight so you’re not paying for my driving: Mondays are East Fremantle, Bicton and Palmyra; Tuesdays Attadale, Alfred Cove and Melville; Wednesdays Applecross, Ardross and Mount Pleasant; Thursdays Myaree and Booragoon.

Fridays I keep for hedges and first visits. If it rains midweek, that’s when I catch up.

Plate 2. The round, Monday to Thursday. River and suburb outlines © OpenStreetMap contributors.

If you’re just outside the line, ask anyway. If I already do a garden in your street, the answer’s usually yes.

What I charge

Note from Dezz: sample prices for this example design.

Fortnightly visit: from $68; Standard block: up to about 700 square metres, front and back. Mow, edges, verge, weed the beds, blow the paths and take the clippings. About an hour. If it’s bin day, I wheel the bins back in.
Bigger gardens, hedges and one-off tidy-ups: $74 an hour; One person, quoted before I start. A 10-metre murraya, both sides and the top, takes me about two hours. A garden left all winter usually takes three to four.
Spring or autumn lawn feed: from $96; Slow-release feed and wetting agent on a standard front and back, product included.
Retic check: $89; Up to six stations. I clean the filters, straighten the sprays and set the controller to your rostered days. Parts are extra.
Green waste: $45 a load; A trailer load, tip fee included. Or it goes in your green bin if there’s room.

If a part needs replacing, I text you a photo of the broken one and the price before I fit the new one. Trees above a 3-metre ladder go to an arborist, and anything at the water meter to a plumber. I’ll give you a name.

Geraldton wax covered in small pink and white flowers — Plate 3. Geraldton wax, *Chamelaucium uncinatum*. It flowers from late winter. Pruning waits until it’s done.

A garden sprinkler on a hose, spraying water over a mulched bed — Plate 4. A hose sprinkler on a new bed in Myaree. It keeps to the rostered days, same as the retic.

Close-up of a patchy couch lawn with small weeds flowering in it — Plate 5. A back lawn in Melville on its first visit: couch, with clover flowering through it. By November it was clean.

I mow buffalo at about 50mm from October to March. Any shorter and the first week of 38s browns it off. It won’t come back properly until autumn.

The flat top and face of a freshly trimmed hedge in front of a house — Plate 6. A front hedge in Attadale, the morning after its trim.

Who’ll be in your garden

Just me. I’ve got a Cert III in Horticulture, and before this I was on a council parks crew, mostly reserves and verges along the river.

I started with four gardens in my own street in Palmyra. It’s about forty now, none of them more than fifteen minutes from home. You’ll know it’s me by the trailer with the lime-green cage.

I work Monday to Friday, 7am to 3.30pm. In a heatwave I start at 6 with the quiet jobs and I’m packed up by 11. The mower never goes on before 7.

Insured. Ask and I’ll show you the certificate.

People on the round

Note from Dezz: these are sample reviews. On your own site they’d be your Google reviews, with a link to the rest.

Sample review

“She noticed our retic had been watering the neighbour’s driveway for about three years and fixed it in ten minutes. The dry patch by the clothesline has come back too.”

Margaret, Attadale

Sample review

“We’re away for work a lot, and a tidy front yard means the house doesn’t look empty. Tess sends us a picture of it before she drives off.”

Dan, Applecross

Before the first visit

Will you water while I’m away?

Yes, for regulars. I check the retic is running on your rostered days and hand-water the pots. Just leave the side gate unbolted.

What happens if it rains?

If it’s light, I keep working. If it’s pouring, I text you and come back on the next dry weekday, usually that Friday. After a big storm I do a lap of the round first and clear anything that’s come down across paths and driveways.

Is there a contract?

No. Tell me a week out and that’s the last visit.

Can you fix my retic?

Mostly, yes: sprays, nozzles, solenoids, controllers and leaks in the poly pipe. Anything at the meter goes to a plumber.

Do you spray weeds?

As little as I can. I hand-pull in the beds and only spot-spray paths and lawn weeds, never on a windy day and never near the natives.

How do I pay?

Bank transfer. One invoice at the end of the month, due in seven days.

How do we start?

Send me your suburb and a photo of the garden. I’ll come and have a look, which takes about 15 minutes and costs nothing, then text you a price per visit.

Ask Tess for a quote

Tell me your suburb and what needs doing. If it’s easier, text a photo of the garden to 0491 570 156.

Note from Dezz: this is an example site, so nothing was sent. Want one like it? Call or text Ezra on 0480 344 478.